


No Goode For Me

by xcandal



Category: American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Alternative Lifestyles, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, F/F, Family Issues, Lust, Luxury, Mental Health Issues, Russia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 13:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13858683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcandal/pseuds/xcandal
Summary: No one is able to save them from themselves. The best escape is to find someone as insane as you.Viktoria Kodchenkova is a young witch found by Fiona Goode. Since then they live a reckless and expensive life where a troubled relationship took place. Viktoria's interests on their former Coven disapearence leads her to an unexpected disclousure.





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Kaya Scodelario as Viktoria   
> Madeleine Stowe as Andrea   
> Catherine Zeta Jones as Vasilisa   
> Joely Richardson as Tatyana

Boston's airport was the nearest to Salem. I took the first bus to the city's downtown, using money to pay everything. I couldn't leave hints in case Fiona wanted to track me. I don't owe her explanations, but this was different. I thought about it when I was giving me information to the hostel I had booked less than 24 hours ago. No, they wouldn't do anything. It was no "Hostel 2." That fucking creepy movie... As the morning took place and the night left, I prepared myself to a tour. I checked a lot on Internet so I didn't have to ask anything to anyone, although many tourists came here every year because of the Salem Witch Walk. I wonder if they regret burning those women. I started my adventure at The Witch House. I looked at that grey old building, the garden around, the medievalist sign ranging. Curiosity. It made me do so many things, like this. Of course I wasn't scared of any of that, I was just nervous. I chose for a self-guided tour. I could process the information better on my own. The house was small inside, and luckily it was empty. This woman told me and a few other people about the house at the entrance and I finish it alone. Stuff was restored, but still looks pretty old. 17th century was so many time ago I couldn't even picture it. The sunlight helped it not to be creepy. I felt strange analyzing people's stuff so carefully, even if they were dead for ages. There's wasn't much about the witch trials. I took pictures of everything, to remember that peculiar moment. The kitchen and the dinner table were the most odd for me. The red candles, the fireplace. The stairs and the baby crib made me gasp too. If a fearful person visited that place she would probably just turn around. My goth state of mind made me think about everything but fear. I tried to associate the witches’ house with Fiona's stuff. Not much. It seemed too authentic. A very good point into history. Anyway, the hour I spent there was worth it. I asked the guide where I could take a bus to the Witch History Museum. The rate on Google was 3.6 but it wanted to take everything I could from Salem. She said I could walk, it was close. Ok. I've been feeling strange since I arrived and I totally realized it as I walked on that beautiful street. Maybe I was getting a cold, or maybe I was in need of food even if I wasn't hungry. No, I wouldn't eat. The place was cool, made of red brick. A presentation and a tour. Some wax exhibition all dated. The information was good, though it was just average. It was easy for me to understand because of my history background, but the speech would be difficult to understand for some people. I took less pictures than at the house. I acknowledged more about the witches and the region. I found that all very interesting so I couldn't rate it fear. I don't blame people for giving it 3.6 though. I still felt bad, but kept going. Now, the Hocus Pocus tour was entertaining. The owners were fun and made it seem even better. I asked a couple of questions about the witches. Always lying about my name and not being too specific because that's what Fiona would advise me to do. It was very historical but I don't know... What was I expecting? People talking about the witches all the time? I was dumb, really. I walked to the closest restaurant to rest. The environment was so beautiful and I couldn't understand why I felt bad. I was healed. At least they told me so. I bought a tea and a bottle of water. I wanted Fiona to be there, seeing those things with me. Maybe calling it boring, but I'd still appreciate her presence. I typed a message for her, but deleted it before sending. You should eat, she’d say. And then she would order me something and tell she had no strength to carry me if I passed out, although I was skinny. I ordered a dish, then. I would hate to be carried by anyone. I made my away to the Salem Witch Museum. The names were so similar. I wouldn't mix them because of the folders, only. The place was so Goth, so beautiful. I had to wait a bit to get in it, but I didn't care. It was too much on me, I knew, but I loved listening to that stories. It wasn't much a museum. Lovely. They really told the story, no add. They even told about witchcraft these days, and that made my heart beat fast. Life size dioramas like I had seen, but the narratives were better. Fiona would like it. Would she feel strange like I was feeling? Was the environment too much in her or would she be too much on the environment? I opened my phone to find a text from the only one Supreme. She asked if everything was ok, if I was feeling well. She said I shouldn't make the trip with me friends and I should stay home for a while. I didn't even want to imagine if she found out what I was really doing. My answer was very typical so she wouldn't notice anything. I stopped by a Witch Way Gifts and spent some money in there. Thanks to Fiona I had money to afford. I wanted to buy her things, but she would ask where they were from. So I got something I could lie about. The people were so friendly at that city I found that odd. They gave me other good souvenir shops hints. I would visit them all tomorrow before I fly to New Orleans. Visiting the former Miss Robichaux's Academy was totally on my plans. As far as I knew it the last Salem's descendants had lived. I hoped someone had bought or rented the house, so I could gently come in. I had broken in so many places this one shouldn't be problem. Would I get bad vibes there as well or was this place's problem? Witches were killed at that fucking house too. That sounded awful. My last hot stop for today was Salem Witch Trials Memorial. I heard it is where they buried the murdered women in 1692. How cruel. When I stepped on that park (if I can call that), it was like someone was draining my energies and power. I walked around, looking at all those graves. It was pretty much a graveyard. I liked those places, they used to be peaceful. This one? Made me sick. How did that people hang around right here? The sunset has just happened. There was still light on the colored sky to illuminate the trees. I could beg the sun or the moon to recharge me. Feeling weak at my last, I checked the graves with the woman's names. There was a flower in one of them. Bridget Bishop, Rebecca Nurse, Elizabeth Howe, Susannah Martin, Sarah Wildes and Sarah Good. I could have been me. I could have been Fiona. Me, not her. I remember saying "I'm very sorry, sisters."   
I opened my eyes. Blurred. In seconds it got a few better. Three elderlies around me, my lap in this teenage girl lap. They made questions. I didn't answer all of them. I fainted and hit my hip on a rock.   
I said I was sorry for all that. This gentle man said if I was really saying sorry for fainting. "I guess so. I am fine." I struggled to get up. The girl helped me. I asked for how long I passed out. 3 minutes. Woah. I thanked them for the concerning and left that fucking place. In the taxi I felt really afraid of I don't know what. Afraid wasn't the exact word but it was the best definition. Fuck Salem, fuck all this. At the Hostel I texted Fiona.  
\- Have you ever been in Salem?   
She called me. I pictured the lie in my mind again. She asked how my trip was, if I was fine, if I was safe. I wasn't used to that questions specially coming from Fiona. I said it was all fine, and the next time was brining her. She laughed a little.   
\- How are you? Sounding upset... I know that voice of yours.   
\- No, mon cherie. I'm ok. Maybe I drank too much in the afternoon.   
I knew she was lying.   
She asked where I was. I said I was at the hostel, out of my room to just to talk to her. She was at her hotel room, resting. She'd been drinking since midday. I said I did the same, but since 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.   
\- 3 because it was when you woke up, isn't it?   
I laughed. She would have been right if this was friend’s trip was even true. It was good to hear her voice. I let her know that, because I had nothing to lose. "Same!" I got myself some cans of beer, in a failure to feel better. The cigarettes and Lana Del Rey's songs helped very little, and that was when I got worried. Salem was no good for me. I wanted to go out, but something made me stay at my small room. Drinking the last can, I rebooked my fight to New Orleans to the morning and I would take the first bus to Boston, Anything not to stay at Salem. The common area had 5 other people besides me so I got back to room quit. I really wanted some company, a certain company. I was in a fucking mess! Fuck my fucking life. I didn't sleep. Overthinking didn't allow me too. And I didn't sleep well last night too because I was anxious (more than average). I got up early, took a long shower. 40 minutes on the ferry listening to Russian dark electro musics flew over me. I took the subway to the airport. It was a very good place to pass time. I felt better there, but not good enough. I bought a new phone case, Argentinian chocolate and this very cute skirt while waiting. Almost 4 hours inside that place rehashing the lie I was about to tell to strange people. I planned it for tomorrow, but I was getting in New Orleans today. Curiosity, again. I sent a good morning message to Fiona in Boston and she still didn't answer when I landed. Airplanes were very cool. I could travel for hours. Above the clouds, everything else below me. I belong to the sky, somehow. If I was dead, where would I be? 

New Orleans was different from what I was used to. I felt bad when I heard about the floods down there. Now it was all pretty. Tiny streets, French styled buildings, palm trees, the river. I wouldn't live there, though. Conservative, as far as I knew. I choose a hotel instead of a hostel this time. The same nervous behavior when giving my information. Don't worry, she won't find you. At least I didn't feel bad here. My hotel was near to Garden District, the neighborhood I was going to visit. It was cheaper, of course. I rested a little, but I was too anxious to see the house. It should be better than Salem. It was much more recent. I kind of made a character to my self. Preppy and serious clothes, a very combed ponytail and a purse. The taxi dropped me some houses before the one I was looking for. Seriously, what a pretty place to live. The houses were so perfect. I found the house! A huge, white, fancy house with this black gate and a garden around it. I came in since it wasn't locked. It wasn't empty. A house like that doesn't remain empty for a long time. I tried hard to control my breath. I knocked at the door two times. This handsome blonde young man answered the door. I introduced myself as Cassandra, an architecture student who was really interested in the place. He said it was ok for me to give it a look. What a cute smile. Dimples, like mine. His name was Kyle, and he wasn't very comfortable with my presence, I could see it. The house was all white. Not too much decoration, very aesthetic. But the ones they had were clearly expensive. I felt at ease there, I don't know why. Who would feel bad at a gorgeous place like that? I was amazed and Kyle could see that. "I've been in several houses at your neighborhood and I can assure this is the most incredible by far! Look at this ceiling height..." I looked at every detail, regardless if he noticed. I asked about the former owners. He didn't know much. He was married. His finger told me. A red haired woman met us. She asked my name and Kyle tells her the few information he has about me. She should be his mother in law or his mother. She didn't have a ring, that's why I knew it wasn't the wife. I wasn't in good position to judge any age gap. Her name was Myrtle. "Oh." It sounded familiar to me. My mind was a trick itself. No distractions now. She was a very neighborly, too much I guess. We spent about 5 minutes together and I could tell she was a kind mother or mother in law or whatever she was. That type of affection wasn't so normal in my days. A different attention was given to me. The second floor was being showed to me when I noticed more people in the house. Two female voices, one strong enough for me to hear everything and the other was lower. Both seemed cool. What kind of family was this, after all? Myrtle loved fashion and design, so she had a lot of opinions to share. When I no longer could event anything, I changed subjects. "I crossed the town just get here." I smiled. Myrtle is kind enough to say I could rest a little before I return. While talking to her it was hard for me to listen to the talk downstairs. If I stayed more I could just ruin everything, and I still haven't seen the house entirely. The lower voice asks where Fiona is. I freeze when I say that name. This can't be true, right? Fiona said the witches were all killed. "Maybe she is back to her vanity, supremacy and luxury. With the new girl, of course." In a fraction of time I said I had changed my mind and would like to rest for a while. As I made my way to the first floor I heard Kyle saying something about being different now. "Last time I was with her she was... Let's just... Not." I was almost sure it was still the academy for witches. While I talked briefly to the stylish girls, my mind was somewhere else. Should I tell them? What if they hate me for lying? What if they hate me for being with Fiona? Was I gonna be able to hide this from Fiona, act like I had never been here? How would it be like to confront Fiona alone? Ok, she cared about me like she hadn't care for anyone in ages, we were lovers. So what? Fiona was Fiona! Wait. The sweet Misty asked where Fiona had gone. So that meant she had been there. I hated myself for being dumb.   
\- You are all very nice. It was helpful to see this house from inside. Promise I'll make good use of this. I got to go. - I looked at each of their graceful faces - Bye, and thank you a lot.   
Misty took me to the door. We could be friends. I would love to have a person like her around. Her presence was like light. She liked me too, I was so sure.   
\- You have a beautiful family. I don't how it works, it's just beautiful. It was nice to meet you, Misty.   
And I left to my hotel, confused as fuck and hoping Fiona wasn't at New Orleans. All I wanted was to do something good to me and I did the opposite. There must be more witches. Was Kyle a witch too? What happened between Fiona and that cluster? What if Fiona lied about all the rest? I was desperate, walking around the room. How could she make up this complex lie? The worst of all was that she told me about herself. I was out of myself, throwing my body against the walls and furniture violently. Life would be so different if those people had found me instead of Fiona. But Fiona was so above this world, so unbelievable. Was I really thinking that? When had I become this stupid? I hate me. I hate me! I hadn't cut for several days, but I had to. Less than two hours was the time for me to control my self again. Now I really wanted to talk about the shit to someone and the scariest thing was that I had no one but her. Speaking of the devil, I had messages from her. I didn't even read. Anxiety was eating me inch by inch. It was worse than the last time I said it was the worst. I recomposed, changed my clothes and hair. I was Viktoria again. Back to the house I took a very deep breath before knocking at the door. Other young woman opened the door. She was probably my age. Her name was Zoe. So beautiful. I tried to explain but I couldn't. I asked to talk to Myrtle, who was surprised to see me again. In the living room I told she had to forgive me. "I swear I didn't know before I get here, I swear." Then I asked where Fiona Goode was. The others approached, curiously. They just looked at each other. My hand rolled all over my head. I felt pressure against me. So i just showed my self. I lighted up the first candle I saw. Everyone in the room stares at me chocked. Maybe afraid too, I don't know, I'm not a mind reader.   
"Fiona found me some... Time ago. She said it was only the two of us. I thought other witches were all dead." I was trembling. I said more confusing things and they asked me to take a sit. Misty, Zoe and Kyle sat at the table with me, trying to calm me down. I was frozen. No tears, no words, no moves. Like in time lapse, when I came back to life Fiona was coming in. The others came close to me, Zoe put her hand on my shoulder protectively. I was so afraid of Fiona I didn't even look at her. It must be awful to be her now for the first time.   
\- We are dying to hear you. - Myrtle completed.   
\- Since when I owe you anything? I get a little kinder and you're all abusing me. - her arrogance was shaking.   
A long silence, I could sense them all looking at me. I look to the horizon. I wasn't one who looked down while other felt sorry for me.   
\- Let's keep in mind we are fine now. – Kyle spoke.  
\- You are right, Fiona. You don’t owe us anything. But I think you do owe Viktoria some explanations.   
Fiona nodded coldly. She said some bullshit about having her own reasons to keep us apart. My eyes rested on her figure briefly. The only thing on my mind was "How could you? This was all faking from the beginning, at the campus." I needed to be alone, not to hear another history told by Fiona. I said I was going back to the hotel because now I had no interest on that. They moved behind me. I didn't bother to check. My wish was someone to stab me. Straight to the heart, please. Misty called me by the name and said I should sleepover because I had a hell of a day. I swallowed my tears. She took me by the hand to a bed room, avoiding all contact to Fiona. I thanked her for that. A comfy bed was made up for me while I rested my body on the wall. My mind was exploding. I had a headache. I sit on the bed and cross my arms around my knees. She looked at me the same way she would look to a lost puppy. Queenie and Zoe entered the bedroom, carefully. They wanted to help me anyway. "I have a headache and I'm thirsty." Zoe smiled and said I was tough. Misty went downstairs and came back with a potion and a bottle of water. Trying to distract me, we talked about common things for while, but I was more a listener. I listed some singers I liked. Lana Del Rey was my anthem. They liked her too.   
\- You probably know the song beautiful people beatiful problems. - Misty said, almost excited. Not only I knew the song, I liked it a lot. It is one of my favorites of her album Lust for Life.   
\- This girl worships Stevie Nicks. - Queenie told me.   
Stevie was really cool. "It's good to have someone to inspire you." Because Misty style was pretty ethereal or boho or hippie... I don't know how to call that. Nice clothes, all of them. I was complimented too. At the moment I wore a skirt, a high heeled ankle boot, a ripped tank top and dark blue jackets. "I can enjoy the weather at least." I couldn't help but ask some questions about Fiona and them being enemies, or whatever they were. Firstly they emphasized how different things were nowadays. Ok. When Fiona left the coven, almost five years ago, they had many issues. At the moment she first came here, Miss Cordelia, her daughter told she was not welcome. Fiona was indiferente to her daughter’s statement. Cordelia was really importat to the girls, and told she deserved eternal mourning. I noded, not telling them anything that Fiona had already told me. They had their guilty on that bad relation too, but Fiona was the devil back then. I made more question each time I heard a new thing. I found out Myrtle was burned at the stake because of Fiona. And she killed a Young witch inside that house because she thought she could be the next Supreme . Right before the murder, she pretended to be friends with the girl. "A girl like you. Beautiful, tough, smart." I said there must be another reason for that.   
-Fiona had cancer at the time. She would be dead in less than a year. – Queenie said.  
-Oh. – I sounded more emotionless than normal.  
According to the mitology, as the new Supreme begins to flourish, the old one begis to fade. And she killed the former Supreme so she could be the youngest Supreme ever. Her name was Anna Leigh and she swore that Fiona would never take the trhone. Myrtle knew she had killer Anna Leigh when nobody suspected her. “But she just couldnt prove” they resumed for me. Fiona was always dishing out a death glare. She was intimidating to the girls all the time. At least she was really protective when it came to the coven. Queenie told me that she was attacked by a creature, a Minotaur and Fiona had saved her life. She did everything to save them, in her nasty way of course. I listended about the miserable relation she had with Cordelia, which I had already heard about from Fiona hersef. When I was really done with that I cut one of Zoe's sentence. "Ok, I got it. I gotta rest now.” I was given pajamas and a nice bed. My body cracked on the bed. I felt wecreked. Suddenly, Zoe entered the room and offered me a spell to sleep, which had immediate effect. “I wish I never came here. I wish I was still ok with Fiona. Now I feel it’s all over and should go forever.” I wispered incounciously, moments before a deep sleep. No dreams, no nightmares. Just a reasonable rest in days. I woke up before anybody else. I was thinking too much so I went downstairs trying to be as silent as possible. I let down a single tear. It rolled from my face and fell on the couch. I trembled. I felt more lonely than never, totally fucked up. Everyday was just 24 hours of me not trying to kill myself. On this last months I tried less, and cried less... I was getting better, for the first time. Now I felt hopeless again. I had to face reality. Life would never be good for me. Because I just hated myself so much more than was ever going to love someone. That suffocation I was feeling now... I was sorry for every damage I caused to the coven if I really knew it properly. I wouldn’t kill myself in there, but I was determined to jump from the tallest building on that city, and I didn’t want a funeral. But I wanted Fiona to be burried by my side. Then we would be together in an eternal emptyness. I hear known footsteps. Fiona. I would love her to kill me now but it would be more trouble to her. She sit on the black armchair on my diagonal. For the first time, I faced her. I had to breathe deep. I don’t know how to describre her look. Pity? Angry? Empty?  
\- I’m extemily mad. – she was full of emotions in her voice.   
I said nothing. She insisted.  
\- I’m not sure what to say or feel. I think you wanna kill me. I want too. – A break. If I knew this people would be here I would not have come. No. – I got angry. No justifying for you.   
I got up. She took me by the arm. I looked at her from above. She let it go but asked to at least tell me somethings I should know.   
\- I was a really miserable person. I had no soul. I’ve done many wicked and perverse things to them years ago. Myrtle got burned because of me. My daughter had the worst mother one could ever have, you know that. I was ecplipsed by the hate. I‘ve learned to get through anything and anyone I loved.   
Her hazel eyes were watering.   
\- When my beautiful girl died, my life came down to pieces. I was devasted, filled with hate, revenge. Things just got worse when I found out she was the Supreme, which meant now I could live longer but carrying the cross of a dead child.   
Fiona was crying. I wanted to console her but I didnt.   
\- I can’t explain the pain of losing a child. I isolated myself for a year, I left the coven, I left the country. I tryed to find out where it went wrong to have my baby killed, I regreted every single move I made. I had no answer. Everything. Every move of mine, all harm I caused to this coven. If I had been diferente not only as a person, but as a witch too I think Cordelia would be here now, not me. Now the lies I told you were because I thought they still hate me here. What did you want me to say, Viktoria? That I was a piece of shit, that i tried to vanish the coven but now I wasnt the same?? Even now it sounds ridiculous. At least I think I did well by leaving them alone. They went through their issues together, improved as people and as witches. I must confess I’m still trying to figure out how this together thing Works. I’m getting better since you are with me. By all means.   
She smiled to the horizon before looking at me. I didn’t say anything. While looking into her eyes I wished I’ve never had any afection for her. I wished I wasn’t in love. I wished the robbery or whatever it was never happened. More than anything, I hoped we would be fine again one day. I wanted so much to hug her, touch her and try to say how I was feeling. Not about her. This should never she spoken out loud. I’ve been at unconscious at hospital. Almost dead. So uncertain, so unstable. This was life.   
Back to the bedroom, I was careful not to wake up anyone. My plan was to go back to the hotel and think for a while. I locked my self inside the big white bathroom. I searched for pills and luckily I found. I took plenty. With my blade, I made deep cuts all over my body. Deeper than I planned but I didn’t mind. I wanted to put a spell on me too, but I forgot them all suddenly. Blood ran out of me while I watched it. It burned and hurted but it was nothing to compare about how it hurted inside. Minutes later, I was feeling my counscious fading piece by piece. Have I done it correctly? Finally? What if I missed Fiona on the other side? What about my pet? I never told anyone what to write on my grave. I’d rather miss her than keep this bad feelings alive. I’d rather die than give them more worries and expenses. I’d rather be a memory.


	2. Chapter II

Fiona felt a wave of death around her. She sensed it all the time in that house because of her Cordelia, but this was something else. She left the room she was sleeping in. Myrtle had willfully taken her former room. She would take everything Fiona had if she could. The blonde ran to the fisrt floor, trying to find someone. The feeling got worse, bringing tears to her eyes. The day had been terrible since it begun a few hours ago. She entered all rooms desperately. When she noticed they were all there but Viktoria, she thought she would faint.  
\- Viktoria. Where is her? I can’t track her! – she screamed.  
Last time she was seen, it was in the guest room, sleeping. Fiona said she had been up for hours.  
\- Everyone! Search for that witch, now! – Queenie said.  
Misty was feeling something dark too. She was hypersensitive. People ran through the house for minutes. Nothing. Suddenly, Kyle screams loudly from a certain room. Fiona had never ran so fast in her entery life. She fell on her knees. It looked like a crime scene. All that blood. A dead girl curled in Kyle’s arms. He looked at the witches with a very sorry face. Fiona screamed in pain. She contracted her burning chest. When she felt this about Cordelia, she hoped this pain never came to her again. It did, it was happening now. The feeling of loss, the whole in her chest. Would it ever recover entirely after Viktoria’s death? By looking at the pale, weak and bloody figure of the girl, Fiona was out of herself, like she would never come back to normal again. No thoughts, no words, no spells. Just desperated screams and uncontrolabe sobbing.  
The girls tried to get her back to earth. She could do something for that girl, she could bring her back to life.  
\- Make her trhow up! NOW! – Zoe commanded and approached the passed girl.  
Queenie held her cold hand, trying to feel any pulse. Viktoria threw up after many attempts. Fiona was now able to speak.  
\- Please, Vik, don’t leave. I just met you. Please come back. I need you here with me. I shouldn’t have done this to you, but… Just come back, I beg you!  
Fiona felt very light vibrations. She didn’t understand that, neither what she was going through. Myrtle ordered any of the witches to use Vitalum Vitalis to bring Viktoria back.  
Misty jumps to Kyle and Viktoria’s direction violently. A few seconds of concentration and she is blowing on the girls face. “Stay with us.” She did for many seconds, more than anyone would expect. Fiona kept talking to the dead girl like she was there, but now she was closer to her body, staring at her against her will. It felt like death for her, or maybe worse. They took the girl to a cold shower after Misty got exhausted. Now Queenie blowed on her face. When Myrtle slaped Fiona on the face and told her exactly what was happening, she kinda came back to herself. She sit next to the bathtub, which was covered in a mix of blood and water and executed Vitalum Vitalis.  
Viktoria opened a crack of her blue eyes and closed them again. Now she had pulse, and a very weak breath. Fiona sobbed while the rest absorbed the whole thing. That was one of the hard moment those young people had been trhough. Fiona was holding her with arms and legs insie the bathtub, all wet. The water was red.  
\- She will be fine, won’t she? – Misty Day asked, perplexed.  
\- We hope so. – Zoe answered. – Now come here.  
Fiona guaranteed she would be good. “This girl is a survivor.” She looked to Viktoria, trying to smile. Tears still falling from her eyes, but now they were happy tears. She asked Zoe to close the faucet and to leave them alone. She obeyed, respectfully. When Fiona and Viktoria’s breath were synchronized, she held the girl thight. “I love you, my little which. I love you”  
-  
I opened my eyes again. I did it a couple of times before, but it was like they were to heavy for me to keep them open. Fiona was asleep on the same bed. She was curled,face turned to my side. I was very confused and scared. The last thing I remember was being in a bathroom’s floor cutting. My moves woke Fiona up. She stared at me, like I was the first thing she saw on earth. I said hi. She sit by my side, asking how I felt etc. That was strange, the way she was treating me. I answered her honestly. I rested my head on her and asked why the questions. In my head, I had been to the hospital or I had been missing. Neither. Fiona told me I died. It sounded like a lie but I knew she wasn’t kidding me. I looked around, I looked to me, to her. Looks normal.  
\- You are not dead. You died, we saved you. Don’t you remember?  
After a few effort, I got my memories back. It was all black and cold after the bathroom scene. I remember some thoughts right before. I had thought about Fiona. Like I had been abducted, I was another dimension for seconds then it was all black. I wish I didn’t remember. It was no good memory. I hugged Fiona. That was a scaring memory and I wanted it to go away forever. Somehow I knew she felt like dying because of my death. Like she had told me.  
\- I… I didn’t know how bad it was until I started to drift away. That moment I knew I was going to die, but it was very confusing. I remember thinking about you. I can’t explan, really.  
She touched my hair and my face. She told me she wanted to be angry with me but now all she could do was be glad I was brething. I took her hand and pressed it. Lovely. We were connected. Not two oceans apart anymore. She was ashamed to admit, but she cried the whole time I was on this bed. I was alive and she was conscious of that, but the thought of losing me was scaring enough. She told me about what happened when they found me like who was telling a horror story. I felt bad for making them feel that way, for making them worry so much, for bleeding. Fiona was very grateful for their help. They came to check me on the bed, to talk to Fiona, to give me serum. Misty treated my wounds. She didn’t say much, of course. I got to her mind when I asked about how she felt about all of it. I saw exactly what she felt. I was very very sorry to make her feel like this. She was the last person I wanted to hurt in this world. I truly loved her. This Telephaty game was too strong on us since I had been to the hospital. I heard her saying “Love can’t be that strong” In her mind.  
\- I like that we are talking telephatycally. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. – I told her.  
\- Oh, are we? – she shook her head and smiled. - I guess we are conncted. Try to think something and try not to let me see it.  
I thought about a stupid thing I would hate her to see. I guess it worked because she didn’t know what that was. One more freak to my list. I told her I wanted to take a shower and talk to everyone. She left the room and came back with a towel and some clothes. My things were stil at the hotel. I had to go there and check out. I called myself stupid for coming here at first. Fiona was an angel to me now. She stayed with me in the bathroom, she put the towel around me, dryed my hair without a word. Our looks to each other were enough. We left to her room.While she did pretty much the same as I did minutes ago, I analysed the room. I opened the window to feel the fresh air on my lungs. I looked to the garden, to the sky. I heard the birds, the wind like I was listening for the first time. Being alive was such an uncertain thing. The line between life and death was so tiny. Humans worried so much about superficial things they forgot to actually live. We are always so worried about the red lights we forgot the green ones are there too. I’ve had a touch of death in me now to make me feel more alive. Poerty, beauty, romance, love. These are all we stay alive for. Like Fiona after a shower. So fresh and alive. Like a work of art. I smiled and told her she was pretty for infinity. I helped her choosing an outfit. A long dress, a bracelet, laced up sandals and she was ready for whatever she had to face. I left the room and screamed “hello there”. No one appeared at first. We went downstairs. There was a meal on the table. Fiona said it was for me. “When was the last time you ate?” I couldn’t remember. That was bad. I was eating when Queenie and Zoe showed up. I talked to them normally as they looked at me like I was a fallen angel. I gave them my typical little smile and returned to my food. Fiona looked at me the whole time. I telepathically told her to stop. She did.  
The seven of us were at the same room. Myrtle greeted me happily when she saw I was fine. So did Misty.  
\- I’m sorry for causing you trouble. I never meant to disturb you with my fucked up way. The pain doesnt define me but I feel it… A lot. I’ve got some issues and I’m still trying to deal with them. Don’t feel sad for me. Things are getting better day by day. Anyway, thank you for everything.  
Misty approached me with arms opened. I hugged her. “My scars are good now”, I wishpered to her. Kyle hi-fived me. The other girls hugged me too. They told so many beautiful things I got emotional. They cared about me even though they met me like two days ago. I was told I was special.  
\- Before this incident, Fiona and I had this… Conversation. She told me everything. I believe in what you said, I believe in what she said. – sighs- I want you to understand her like I did.  
I spoke with my hurt heart. Fiona and I talked to each other all the time. She said my understanding was enough. They were nothing but a bonus. I told her not to think that way. 

\- We’ll do it for the coven’s safety, darling. We can’t afford another attack. – Myrtle said clearly avoiding eye contact with Fiona.  
\- You’re talking about what happened to me at our city, right?  
I was afraid she was calling Fiona an “attack.” She wasn’t.  
We were all truly fine now. Fine enough to talk and laugh for a while on the living room. Fiona promised she would never jeopardize any of them again. And I promised not to let her. I excused myself to get a drink. “No alcohol today, please?” Fiona asked me. I winked at her. At the kitchen I had a cup of soda. Zoe came in.  
\- I won’t judge, but did you support Fiona because you’re in love with her? – She said casually.  
What a surprise, seriously. I was shocked. Such an inquisitive question. I snorted.  
\- I support Fiona because she’s part of this very restrict group of people that ever cared about me. Seriously, I don’t care about what she did, what she used to be or say. Since I met her, she has been great for me even when she was arrogant and cold. I will support her!  
I said the last sentence slowly. She said it was all fine, she was just curious.  
\- It is no problem to fall in love with her either. I mean, look at her. She broke so much hearts in her life one can’t even count. – She said it so naturally I couldn’t be mad.  
I took a sip from my soda. I asked if I looked heart broken. Zoe said I looked exactly the opposite, and it was awkward given what I had been trhough. She told me about Kyle and her. How she loved him since she first met him at a frat party. Her shy and quiet way conquered Kyle in minutes Love in first sight. Woah. Zoe brought him back to death but he was like a robot. He wouldn’t speak, he was aggressive like an animal. Fiona kind of fixed his sanity so he was able to learn and be more human. After years of dedication and patience, he was good again. She loved him very much. That’s why she asked about me being in love with Fiona. Love was something very storng for her. “Love makes us more human. We see, listen, feel things differently. Like we have that one reason to wake up everyday, you know. I still feel that with Kyle.” That kind of true love was refreshing for me. I was no shy girl with whom a boy fell in love at a party. I was the opposite. I was even luckier to have found someone who accepted me. Telling her about Fiona and I went trhough my head but Fiona would hate it. I smiled briefly and left the kitchen. People were quitter now. We talked about me being Russian. I gazed Fiona pretending I was angry because she brought the subject. I explained I wasn’t born there. My father was, and I had a dual citizenship. I would show them my red passport if it wasn’t back at the hotel. “Speaking of which, I gotta go there before tomorrow at midday to check out” I said fast to Fiona. At the point I showed them how to speak Russian they got thrilled. “Vy khoroshiye lyudi” I was asked to write, so I did. Вы хорошие люди. They laughed and commented about it. They asked why I didn’t sound very proud of my Russian features. Not true.  
\- I’ve always heard Russian women are pretty. – Kyle said.  
\- That’s fucking right then. – Fiona completed.  
True, they say many things about the country. Too much if you ask me. People had ridiculous stereotypes and they had to stop. When I was a teenager, some people were afraid to come over because there was the rumor my father was in the Mafia. He had an accent, so what? He was often talking on his phone in Russian because of work, like most fathers I’ve known. When he took me and my friends for dinner he preferred paying in cash. I got older, friends had their credit cards and I always had cash. We hard cards, many cards but he just trusted more in cash. I mean is that a problem? People are not always drunk by vodka there. Many of them like vodka, it’s very cheap, it gets you crazy. Most people I know like vodka, and believe it or not they are not Russians. To assume Russian women want to fuck Americans for money is so annoying and innacutare. They are not submissive as well, hell no. Russians are hilarious. They don’t smile at everyone for a cultural matter, it’s like a waste of time. I give little smiles all the time. Russia is very cold, but it gets warm too. At summer, Moskow termometers reach 27 celcius easily. We’re not nuts, we’re not rude, we don’t worship Stalin. Russians don’t miss the URSS, and for God’s sake they are not communists! I guess some do and some are, which could be easily explained if I wanted to. Russian ladies are not obcessed with appearance, not more than American ladies. They are just classy and fancy.  
\- But If you’ve heard we have our own version of Winnie the Pooh, that is absolutely true.  
They looked at me, speechless. Speacially Fiona. I’ve never talked like this to her. I thought about how fine I was at the moment compared to what I was hours ago. I was dead. Myrtle said something about Russian witches. Before I knew I was a witch I heard about this. There was folklore about it, and there were actual witch trial there in the seventeeth century. There were no pacts or diabolism, though. To the folklore, the power of magic was considered a realistic part of life without any link to the devil or demonology. It is a sad history actually. People had no real physicians at the Pre-Petrine Russia so they had no other choice but to rely on healers. Nowadays young people like this goth and witchery things there. I did like it. There was a new music style called witch house. Most of singers were Russian.  
\- Sorry. Did I talk too much?  
\- No way, girl. You know very much. – Queenie said.  
Evrybody agreed and said I should be proud of who I was, no matter what.  
No way I was intelligent. I knew about the things I was interested in, about what I had to read for college. No big deal. Fiona was very distracted. I asked her where she was telephatically. “Never mind, mon cherie.” Myrtle said we’ve had a Russian Supreme. Woah. That was cool. I played with a loose pice of skin in my finger and smiled at Myrtle. I felt more confortable being “Russian” than ever. Fiona knew I had some issues. We talked for one hour. I was on my phone relaxing then I remember I had this thing to do for college. I had to send it to the teacher til tomorrow. I entered Misty’s room gently and asked for a laptop. She tottaly lent it to me. I sit in her bed to do the damn work. She looked at the screen, curious. I explained a few to her. When she told me she hard been burned on the stake my jaw dropped. Some religious extremists did this to her. I was so sorry. These people had my full contempt. Misty definitely didn’t deserve it. Before living in the Coven she used to live alone at the swamps, alone. She loved the earth and nature before anything else. I told her before I lived with Fiona I lived at my college’s dorm with other 2 “friends”. I’ve been more friends with Misty than I had been with those girls. What I wanted to say is that I lived kind of alone too. Of course it was much worse for her, although she claimed it wasn’t bad. I pressed her hand and said I was glad to meet her. She rested her head on my shoulder. “Same.” Minutes later I was done with it. I was supposed to read a chapter of a book and write about it. I wrote a common sense opinion with difficult words and that was that. She told to stay so we could stay awake and talk. I said I was going to come back but first I had to see Fiona. Myrtle and her were together. At the moment she felt my presence, she left. We got to the bedroom. I leaned on the door behind me and pulled her body towards mine. I kissed her like she was oxygen and I couldn’t breathe. Her hands locked around my neck. That kiss tasted like our first. The taste of revolution. The feeling of her hair on my face, the smell of her French perfume. I thought “I want you forever” for her to listen. She said she wanted me more and smiled. She ran her hands all over my body. I was in a deep need of being touched exclusively by her. I wanted more of everything we did. When she took my shirt off, I wanted her to take my bra off too. She was full of naughtiness tonight. I always was. She undressed slowly, staring at me. “My my, Fiona.” She winked at me. We didn’t waste a single minute of hour time. Her lips wre attached on mine. Lips over my neck, my shoulders. Her hair brushing on my naked breasts. My arms tighten around her. I controlled myself not make any noises but to think about something at that point was hard. We were burning in desire, flooded in passion and sex. My body reacted to each of her touches. I pressed my hand over hers so I could feel more. Fiona’s kiss was an experience I would recommend to every human being. The air was hotter in that room. There weren’t rules on our sex. We allowed ourselves to do whatever we’d like. And Fiona and I were more than great at that. It was never enough. I was begging her for me. She tried me for seconds. As I begged again, she fucked me harder. The light slaps, the kisses, the waves of pleasure spread on our bodies, beyond where thought could follow. Then I realized we were still latch. We both trembled. I saw a lock of hairon her naughty face. I brought her closer. She put one finger over my lips so I kissed it. Red lips touch mine. Our bodies were now thrown on the bed on purpose. I rethought something worth sharing.  
\- I highly recommend your sex to everyone.  
She laughed.  
\- I’ve done it with so many people – she paused - If they all said that, the whole world might want to fuck me by now.  
I called her a savage bitch. We both laughed. “By the way, I recommend you too you my lil’ bitch.”  
Misty and I had infinite subjects to talk about. She had a part time job and sometimes she babysitted too. I was more like dogsitting. I wasn’t into children. As expected, people liked her everywhere. Who wouldn’t like her? She told me about her crushes, broken hearts stories. She confessed she got very intrigued by a woman once. “The thought didn’t leave my head for a couple of months. It was so… Awkaward. I felt like an alien. It was more a mental crush than physical” I said I was the biggest alien walking on earth then. I had many crushes on random people. Nothing could stop me to have them, even if it was for just one night. I swear she asked me some seduction tips. Like she even needed that. In my point of view, an authentic person was more likely to be sexy. Self confidence was important too. As an example, I could be dying inside and I’d still looked sassy.  
\- Are you dying inside now? – she had this sad tone.  
I shook my head.  
\- A bipolar disorder is killing me. I’ve been dealing with it for a long time. On account I have high anxiety. Everyday was 24 hours of me trying to stay alive. I’ve been feeling better though.  
\- I’m sorry. And that’s good that you’ve been getting better. Don’t let it fade your energy again, ok? – her smile was captivating.  
I nodded and retribued the smile. No more sorrow. We played a questions game. I suggested we called Queenie and Zoe but it was late. We agreed on going out tomorrow together.  
\- Myrtle and Fiona too? – She played.  
\- If it’s up to Fiona, yes. We go out together a lot. Sometimes we jump from a party to another, no rest!  
Again, I told her Fiona was nice. She nodded and smiled. After some reharsals, I recorded a short video of her singing Cherry by Lana Del Rey. Then she recorded me singing Seven Wonders by Stevie Nicks. We posted it on my Snapchat. I made her create an account too. “Everybody has Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram.” She had an unactive Instagram because she found it boring. Sometimes I did too. She showed me some pictures of her. A few time after she got here. I was surprised by her curly hair. She was still blonde, but now she used bangs and a straight hair. Very light waves on the length just like many. I said I liked that she kept the feathers. She’d bring me to the place she got them. We decided to sleep because she had to work.  
I woke up late as I planned. My blood rushed when I looked to the clock. If I didn’t make it to the hotel in less than 20 minutes I would be paying another rate. I called Fiona. It was faster than search for her on that house. She told me to take a cab beucase she wasn’t home. Shit. I dialed the first number I found online and I still got there a few minutes late. Few enough for me to say I wasn’t going to pay because it wasn’t fair. I said I didn’t have the money. Little did they know Fiona’s money (the same I was using to pay that) could buy that whole building. I texted Misty. She was probably working because she didn’t anwswer. On my way back to the coven, I passed by some beautiful places I’d like to visit. I got all ready and Fiona still didn’t come home. I called and told I wanted to see the French Quarter. She was sorry for being busy now and allowed me to rent a car. Zow got home as I was talking on the phone. “Ok, text me when you can.”  
\- Sorry, I heared your conversation. I can show you the if you’d like some company.  
So we left to the next car rental. If I had some apprehension because of what she said on the kitchen, it didn’t exist anymore. We passed by the cities famous places while listening to good music. The royal street, the Mississipi River, the whole downtown (I even bought cigarettes at the River Walk) Amusment Gardens, Lafayette Cemitery. I said I wanted to see the black culture stuff. She drove us to Café Rose Nicaud, Tréme, Congo Square, and then Voodoo Museums and souvenirs store. I had such a good time I didn’t notice hours passing by. We watched the sunset by the river. She was driving so slowly people were honking. We did nothing but laugh. The cigarettes made me feel even better. I’ve texted Fiona and Misty during the afternoon but I just said I was busy. I didn’t’ wanna miss any view. We passed by Queenie and Kyle’s job and picked them up. Back to the coven I really thanked Zoe. The city was different from what I was used to, so it was worth the tons of pictures. Everybody enjoyed my entertainment to the city as Zoe and I told them. She seemed more thrilled than I. “Thanks again, Zoe.” Queenie asked how many times I had been to Russia. Only two. I wish I could visit it again but it was expensive. Fiona communicated me immediately. She said she didn’t know it. I answered it was fine, I had never told so. I would also like to visit my family on Florida, but probably I wouldn’t have time. The girls went to their room to get ready. I stayed to talk to Myrtle, who had been nice to me all time. Fiona was very observative all the time but I could tell she wasn’t paying attention. I went upstairs after I finished talking. Fiona came right after me.  
\- You seem to be happy here. – The happy word sound different than the others.  
\- Yeah. What about you?  
\- You feel like they are your sisters, and Myrtle is an aunt or someone’s mother.  
She walked on the room. That made me nervous. I repeated my question.  
\- Don’t you know the answer already?  
She was angry with me because of something she was feeling. I said I couldn’t predict what she felt. No one could, ever. She said the house and the people gave her a bad nostalgia. It reminded her of how much trouble they had, her sickness, the murders. Myrtle. She didn’t like her at all. “She never wished me good.” And especially it reminded her of Cordelia. How bad she was to her, how she regret it. But how could I know all that? I mean, was I supposed to? I said I was sorry she felt that way. I had no idea. I knew she’d been thoughtful these days but not about this. Fiona nodded. While I caressed her hair I asked if there was anything I could do. “No one can save me.” I hugged her thight and used my powers to make her feel better.  
\- No one had to save you. You are the Supreme. And more than that, you are Fiona fucking Goode.  
She didn’t hug me back or said a word. I asked if she wanted to tell me something else, or anything to make her feel better. I said we could go home tomorrow morning. I would do anything she had asked. And I did. I left her alone to think. That made me so upset and stupid. For a short time I was sure she liked me or even loved me. God, I was ashamed of thinking that, of feeling. I was lucky enough to be found on the corridor. I changed into a small black dress, a flur jacket and high heels. Typicall me. I almost went to her room again but I was afraid of what her reaction would be. I texted her.  
\- Join us later if Myrtle piss you off. We can leave tomorrow. Xo.  
The girls and I went to the Bourbon Street. I took a beautiful picture of the four of us. I posted, why not? As I was on the third drink they were still finishing the first. Zoe was drinking a juice. I’d never. I ordered Tequila for them. I wanted to know their drunk side. Not that the sober side wasn’t cool. But you know… I can assure they were even cooler. I found out everyone on that table had died once. We had to talk low about the witch subjects. We decided not to talk about it ofr our own safety. The witch hunters stories were scaring enough. Things that happened years ago were very serious. There was a witch hunter living in the coven as Cordelia’s ex husband. I have heard about the Delphi Corporation and for me, it was sick enough. A rich Corporation focused on killing witches on the backgrounds. They killed witches for years. The girls confessed they killed Cordelia. I was very surprised. It was like a forbidden topic inside the Coven. I wouldn’t metion it. I never knew Cordelia and it made me sad. Imagine how that felt on them… On Fiona. They knew I was involved on a shooting that Fiona suspected to be a witch hunting. Some dots were connected in my head now.  
\- I thought I’d never see Fiona as mad as she was when Cordelia died until she found you on that bathroom.  
I asked them to change subject, but I wanted to know more about that later. Minutes later I still felt selfish about all of my actions. From days to hours ago. I asked them where we could buy drugs. They refused to tell me at first.  
\- You are ok with being dead like, days ago? How? It took me weeks to recover mentally. – Queenie said.  
I looked on her eyes. The answer was clear. I didn’t care like they did. No, I wasn’t going to do those things anymore. I promised them. But it was true. I felt everything differently them they did. For worse or better.  
\- But we accept you the way you are. Never forget. – Misty said.  
\- More than that, we like you and we’ll protect you whenever you need. – Zoe finished. 

I looked to my lap and smiled. Fiona came up to my mind. I told them how I liked them. It was extraordinary because I never liked people so quickly. And when I did it was never mutual. “I wish you liked Fiona too.” No answer. I sighed. “Now, pot for me?” They gave up on me. After a few texts we made our way to another bar. I offered to go alone but the girls wanted to make me company. I told them about my friends, they told me about theirs. It seemed easier to make friends in New Orleans. I had very few true friends. Like two. I bought the weed and then we went to a certain place to smoke. As expected, when I offered Misty and Queenie said yes.  
\- Zoe is the mom of the group.  
I made a joke but she seemed very worried, even angry with me.  
\- What is it? Don’t you like being sober and straight?  
She faked a laugh. Said she was kidding too. I said I wasn’t stupid but I could pretend I was if she wanted. Misty told me to go easy. No. That wasn’t the first time she was teasing me. Whatever. I was going home to check on Fiona after I finished smoking this one. No one said a thing until I actually got up to take a taxi.  
\- Viktoria, wait. – Zoe said reluctantly.  
I turned around and faced her with a bitch face. She told me she was pregnant. I wasn’t to type to say congratulations for that. If it was me, I wanted people to tell they were sorry for me. I told Zoe it was great. But was this a secret or what? She said I should keep this myself for the baby’s safety. The others were looking at each other. I said I wouldn’t tell but I wanted explanations.  
\- Witch hunters might want to kidnap me or still my child when she or he is born. So please don’t tell anyone.  
\- Ok, I won’t. And if you need anything, I’m sure Fiona could make something to… You know, protect it. – I was getting high.  
\- That won’t be necessary. – Misty said quickly.  
Ok, fine. Being pregnant didn’t seem like a big deal for me. Acutally nothing seemed so now. This weed got my mind really open. Zoe and Queenie left 30 minutes later. Me and Misty went to meet some of her friend’s. Cool hippies. I told her she had to visit me one of these days. The city was so big, full of different people. She gave me that cute smile. Fiona texted me.  
\- Where are you?  
\- Somewhere with Misty. Come?!  
\- I see. Are you ok?  
\- YASS! COME please doll.  
\- Are you drunk or high?  
\- Both.  
\- So stop. You don’t know this city well enough.  
I called her to say I was alright. She should be more worried when I was sober than when I wasn’t. Like she was making an effort, she told me to go home. “Going.” I smoked one last time and told Misty I had to go. A friend of hers walked us to the nearest taxi. Very gentle. She asked what was happening because I wasn’t up to obey people. Even if it was Fiona. I said I wanted to check her because she was upset when I left. I felt very guilty for leaving her. I was a selfish bitch. Misty noticed I was holding my emotions back so she held my hand. I trusted her to tell a few more. “You care about her a lot, don’t you?” Even her serious words sounded nice. By looking at her, I saw much more than I ever did like I was seeing her halo or her soul. My mind was very opened. It must be the weed. Misty disagreed when I said she wouldn’t understand. That’s why I never said too much. Never a good ideia.  
I ran to Fiona, literally. I wanted to see her fast. She was smoking in the kitchen. No lights. The house was so warm and comfy. I sit on the opposite side and stared at her. She raised her eyebrows. I said I shouldn’t have left her here upset. Fiona told me I didn’t. She was the one who asked me to go. We all said things just for saying. I had been selfish for days. I didn’t pay attention on her like I should. By fact, I was very confused about many things. Fiona was too, for my surprise. It was the right time for her to come clear. She smiled at me. It was difficult to her to talk about her feelings. I asked her not to use telephaty this time. She asked me if I had checked my cards or bank accounts. No, I haven’t.  
\- There’s a lot of money there. I was going to vanish. I was leaving while you were out with Zoe. You deserve a stable life. I lost myself when I lost you… After you died I was convinced I was no good for you. It’s my nature to destroy everything I touch and… That’s the last thing I want for you. It was a chance to be as normal as possible. The best I can do is to release you.  
I was crying. No air was entering my lungs.  
\- You were gonna leave me, Fiona? – It was difficult for to speak.  
She transmutated to my side. Her hand was resting on my shoulder.  
\- What I’ve done to you is unforgivable. But Viktoria, you have what was left of my heart. You have me to the point I’d leave the whole world behind for you. It is crazy that I say your name more times a day than I say my own. No explanation I give I’ll satisty you. I promise no harm will come to you as long as I live.  
I got up and hooked my eyes with hers. All I’ve ever known was abandonment.  
\- And I never once heard you saying ‘I need you’. I felt confused, I blamed myself for pretty much everything. I lost nights of sleep because of you. When I thought you might even care about me you pushed me away. I wasn’t even a whisper in your thoughts while you were screaming on mine. – I paused- Fiona, if you had left me I would die from sadness. Hard to explain. All the plans we had, or at least I had.  
\- It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I’m doing this to you. I’m up to destroy myself to fix you.  
I give three steps behind. All those pretty words but she wasn’t able to say she loved me. She cried too.  
\- Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?  
She said I meant the world to her. I went upstairs, she followed me in tears. Those tiny tears were nothing compared to what my weeping would be if she had left me. I lay on her bed and curled my body. “I want a spell for sleeping. And you can leave if you really want to.” Because the best way to feel is to pretend you don’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration  
> https://weheartit.com/xcandalx/collections/129123981-aes-witch-bitch  
> Hope you enjoyed


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